In Hindu marriages the horoscope is the cardinal
player in decision making. Nakshatra
Porutham (matching of stars as per
the horoscopes of the boy and girl) is essential to a marriage. An astrologer
confirms the matching of both the horoscopes. Stars matching confirmation is
the first step of Hindu marriage. After the stars matching is confirmed, the
elder members of the boy formally approach the family of the girl. The broker
who is the bridge between the two families approaches the girl’s family, equipped
with complete details about the boy, his education and family details including
financial status details. If the broker gets the node from the girl’s family,
he reports back to the family of the boy. The elders of the boy’s family go to
the house of girl to see her. If they are satisfied over the girl and the
family, the boy is sent along with his friends to see the girl and ascertain
the suitability. If the boy approves the girl, the family of the girl is
requested to visit the house of boy. Their visit follows. If they are willing
for wedlock relation, the next step is of fixing a date for visiting girl’s
house by close relatives and neighbours of the boy. This is called Virunnu. On this visit they fix up a
day with the girls family for betrothal which is Jathakam Vangal in local
parlance.
Malayalee / Kerala Wedding Ceremony – Rituals and Customs –
South Indian Wedding Series
Kettu Kalyanam, also known as Thali Kettu was
the name of an elaborate marriage ceremony of the Samanthan, Nair, Maaran, and
Ambalavasi communities of the southern Indian state of Kerala. The customs
varied from region to region and caste to caste. Sambandham may take place only
if the bride had already had this elaborate ritual marriage known as Kettu
Kalyanam.
Nishchyam – The engagement Ceremony: Different communities in Kerala depending on their place of origin have their own engagement ceremonies. Usually engagement happens in the girl’s house. Both families meet and an astrologer is called to choose auspicious dates from a Panchangam ( A book that contains auspicious times and dates, this is like the year book for most communities, including Tamil Brahmins). In a Malayalee engagement ceremony, the boy and the girl need not be present, but off late the customs are changing. An interesting point to be noted here is that, no Thambalam ( plates containing fruits and sweets) are exchanged. After this, a grand Sadya (traditional Malayalee Meal served on a Banana leaf) is served.
Thaleluarieduva – Thala (head), Ari (rice) – eduva (receiving blessings): This is a custom, that happens separately in the girl and boy’s side. This happens either on the day of the wedding or a day before the wedding, depending on the time of Muhurtham (auspicious time). The girl/ boy receives blessings from everybody older than them in their families. They pour raw rice over their heads and the girl/boy in turn touch their feet to be blessed by time. The best part being, even your older cousins are not exempted from this.
Wedding Ceremony: The girls wear a traditional Kasavu Saree (kerala saree) and the boy’s wear a Shirt and Mundu. The stage is decorated with lamps and flowers. There is no priest or fire or homam, unless the function happens in a temple. there is a para – a vessel made of brass and copper filled with nellu (rice grains with husks).
The girl is brought into the hall accompanied by her aunts and sisters, each of them carrying lit lamps in their hands. The boy arrives the same way.
Once they are seated, the boy’s parents will bring a thali (mangalsutra), which is simple gold chain with a leaf like pendant. The boy ties it around the girl’s neck and his sisters help in the process. Then, garlands are exchanged. At this point, the girl’s father holds her hand and gives it to the boy. This symbolises handing over the girl to the boy’s family.
The boy, then holds the girls hand, go around the stage three times, thus signalling the end of the wedding.They then receive blessings from the oldest members of the family. A grand sadya is served.
A Hindu wedding is Vivaha (विवाह) and the wedding ceremony
is called vivaah sanskar in North India and kalyanam (generally) in South India. Hindus attach a
great deal of importance to marriages.
The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several
days. The bride's and groom's home - entrance, doors, wall,
floor, roof - are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons,and other
decorations.